So on a residential week recently, God was doing some work in me around my sense of identity...
I've come a realisation that for much of my life I have had very little concept of who I am, under everything... at the core. If I have had moments of seeing the true me, sometimes a part of me has wanted to brush over it, in favour of something cooler or more attractive, something 'stronger', something 'more interesting'?
This has outworked itself in so often playing the chameleon, blending in and imitating others I respect or admire, or living my life in reaction to the perceived expectations of others.
Those expectations most likely have very little basis in reality, but serve as reasoning to live out of a sense of duty rather than any sense of freedom in who I am made to be.
I realise I'm not unique in this respect. I believe one of the most frequently asked questions in our culture is 'who am I?'.
Whilst I know the theory of the identity I have in Christ - I know I'm not alone in truly owning that identity. It has often felt like I have to lose who I am to find that other identity. But I'm on a journey in discovering what Sam-ness looks like. What's beyond the various facades I have held and still hold, what it means to accept the truly unique identity God has given me.
And I wrote this...
I've come a realisation that for much of my life I have had very little concept of who I am, under everything... at the core. If I have had moments of seeing the true me, sometimes a part of me has wanted to brush over it, in favour of something cooler or more attractive, something 'stronger', something 'more interesting'?
This has outworked itself in so often playing the chameleon, blending in and imitating others I respect or admire, or living my life in reaction to the perceived expectations of others.
Those expectations most likely have very little basis in reality, but serve as reasoning to live out of a sense of duty rather than any sense of freedom in who I am made to be.
I realise I'm not unique in this respect. I believe one of the most frequently asked questions in our culture is 'who am I?'.
Whilst I know the theory of the identity I have in Christ - I know I'm not alone in truly owning that identity. It has often felt like I have to lose who I am to find that other identity. But I'm on a journey in discovering what Sam-ness looks like. What's beyond the various facades I have held and still hold, what it means to accept the truly unique identity God has given me.
And I wrote this...
And I have called you by name
It is you
There is no other.
In your search
Your seemingly endless search, grasping, groping about in the mist and murk
Of the competing thoughts, the confused emotions that drive you
That hold you
I have called you by name
And I know you
I see you
I see your flustered heart
Your anxious mind,
Preoccupied with what ifs
Burdened by 'reality' while forever yearning to be known by a different name.
But
I have called you by name
And it is a good name
It is my gift
Whispered on the wind of my Spirit
Whispered in gentle tones and yet
As firm as rock.
It is this name that sets you free
Releases you to see,
To see yourself, as if for the first time.
To see through the fog of doubt and despair
To see the kaleidoscope of colour and beauty and complex wonder that is you.
Would you hear your name?
Forever given
Forever sung through the heights of the heavens
Through the depths of the earth.
Because you belong
You are mine.
And as you hear your name
As you bear your name,
You will hear another name
You will bear another name
The name of the name giver
And you will find your rest, your healing,
You will find your life.
Because I have called you by name.
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