So it's nearing 3 weeks into my illness induced isolation. I have an infection that has effected my breathing and heart.
When not asleep or in pain, God has seen to bless me with a restless mind and has been using this time to teach me a few things about myself, Himself and others.
Some of these things are new to me, others I knew about, but was in denial.
Time out for whatever reason is a vital time to learn some life lessons.
Here are some of mine... Some are bullet points that I'm sure will broaden out over time, other thoughts are more developed - all of them require me to do something about them.
Maybe you can relate to some of them.
When I feel vulnerable I begin to doubt my faith.
However, over my illness I have been reading the book of 2 Corinthians in the Bible, this and the fact that two people have had 'words' for me from that same book demonstrates to me that God will answer me in His own way, not necessarily through my imagined ideal. And once again whilst I pray for immediate miracles and relief from pain, He uses His Word to speak into my situation.
There are some strong themes in 2 Corinthians, of suffering and of hope.
There is no expectation in Paul's mind that he and his friends will be spared pain or even death in their pursuit to make Jesus famous. Often, as you can read in the book of Acts, they were rescued dramatically from difficult, even deadly situations, yet they didn't take it for granted that that would always happen.
Suffering is part of life.
For those suffering with long term illness I imagine this might be a question they have grappled with many times, is the apparent silence from God - all the unanswered prayers - an added source of pain? do they add doubt to the pain of being ill?
Or is there a deeper source of faith? One that I don't always have?...
That we carry the treasure of God in jars of clay (easily breakable), 'so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves' - 2 Cor 4:7.
The challenge for me and for us all...
Are we really prepared to suffer, to go through persecution or ill health without apparent answers from God? Do we still trust Him?
Is the focus on how we feel, or is it in our God?
'For God who said "Light shall shine out of darkness" is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ'
- 2 Cor 4:6
There is a certain beauty in the hope that can only come to the fore in the midst of suffering - A hope that says once and for all - It's not about me.
God doesn't owe me anything and I owe Him everything.
He's already shown his hand in the face of Christ. That is why I can trust Him.
I have also seen the face of Christ in the faces of those who have cared for me day and night over the last few weeks.
In the nurses and doctors who do amazing work in really tough circumstances for crazily long hours!
In family and friends who have prayed, cooked, visited and so much more.
In the amazing youth team we have at Emmanuel and the whole staff team, picking up and running with the youth program and events we had planned, and probably doing an even better job of it than I would have done!
And of course, I have seen the face of Christ in the face of my wife who has been by my side the whole time, she is the only one who I really let see me at my most vulnerable and she loves me through it.
From organising my world (which, by the way she is a pro at) so I can rest, to washing me in the bath when I don't have the energy to stand, she would sacrifice anything to see me well again.
How much more Christ-like can you get?
Other passages in 2 Corinthians you might like to ponder:
Ch 4 (all of)
Ch 5 (all of)
Ch 6:3-10
Ch 8:9
Ch 13:3-6
When not asleep or in pain, God has seen to bless me with a restless mind and has been using this time to teach me a few things about myself, Himself and others.
Some of these things are new to me, others I knew about, but was in denial.
Time out for whatever reason is a vital time to learn some life lessons.
Here are some of mine... Some are bullet points that I'm sure will broaden out over time, other thoughts are more developed - all of them require me to do something about them.
Maybe you can relate to some of them.
- My work is a massive idol in my life.
- I have a tendency to micro manage.
- Everything does not depend on me.
- I need to learn the definition of 'complete rest'.
- I don't like others to see me when I'm vulnerable, I'd rather suffer in silence than for others to see me when I'm weak.
- I have a tendency to try and run before I can walk.
- Lists are useful - which is a painful admission if you have my character profile!
- Life is very precious, but very fleeting. Whilst I may not have been in that much danger, when your heart plays up it can be a scary place to be, no matter how many times it's happened before. Whilst in hospital I knew of at least two occasions when someone close by had gone into cardiac arrest, one of which I know was fatal.
When I feel vulnerable I begin to doubt my faith.
However, over my illness I have been reading the book of 2 Corinthians in the Bible, this and the fact that two people have had 'words' for me from that same book demonstrates to me that God will answer me in His own way, not necessarily through my imagined ideal. And once again whilst I pray for immediate miracles and relief from pain, He uses His Word to speak into my situation.
There are some strong themes in 2 Corinthians, of suffering and of hope.
There is no expectation in Paul's mind that he and his friends will be spared pain or even death in their pursuit to make Jesus famous. Often, as you can read in the book of Acts, they were rescued dramatically from difficult, even deadly situations, yet they didn't take it for granted that that would always happen.
Suffering is part of life.
For those suffering with long term illness I imagine this might be a question they have grappled with many times, is the apparent silence from God - all the unanswered prayers - an added source of pain? do they add doubt to the pain of being ill?
Or is there a deeper source of faith? One that I don't always have?...
That we carry the treasure of God in jars of clay (easily breakable), 'so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves' - 2 Cor 4:7.
The challenge for me and for us all...
Are we really prepared to suffer, to go through persecution or ill health without apparent answers from God? Do we still trust Him?
Is the focus on how we feel, or is it in our God?
'For God who said "Light shall shine out of darkness" is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the Light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ'
- 2 Cor 4:6
There is a certain beauty in the hope that can only come to the fore in the midst of suffering - A hope that says once and for all - It's not about me.
God doesn't owe me anything and I owe Him everything.
He's already shown his hand in the face of Christ. That is why I can trust Him.
I have also seen the face of Christ in the faces of those who have cared for me day and night over the last few weeks.
In the nurses and doctors who do amazing work in really tough circumstances for crazily long hours!
In family and friends who have prayed, cooked, visited and so much more.
In the amazing youth team we have at Emmanuel and the whole staff team, picking up and running with the youth program and events we had planned, and probably doing an even better job of it than I would have done!
And of course, I have seen the face of Christ in the face of my wife who has been by my side the whole time, she is the only one who I really let see me at my most vulnerable and she loves me through it.
From organising my world (which, by the way she is a pro at) so I can rest, to washing me in the bath when I don't have the energy to stand, she would sacrifice anything to see me well again.
How much more Christ-like can you get?
Other passages in 2 Corinthians you might like to ponder:
Ch 4 (all of)
Ch 5 (all of)
Ch 6:3-10
Ch 8:9
Ch 13:3-6
Comments
David
"Blessings"
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love is way too much to give us lesser things
'Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise